Bone Dry Dunes
by Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus
Summary: A vast deserted canyon with shifting rivers of sand and bones. Various ships can be seen in the quicksand, and overall is a rugid place to live, visit, or race. And Dry Bowser wouldn't have it any other way.
1. Chapter 1

_Ahh, the Bone Dry Dunes, how majestically dry it is... how the rivers of sand shift... how the bones rattle... how the ships sail aloft in the quicksand... and the sand storms... you just have to love this dusty old place for its wonderful culture and connection with nature-_

"Dry Bowser, you can stop narrating," Birdo stated as she folded her arms together, all of them being at the small market near the starting line, the giant head of Dry Bowser looming over the race track.

Dry Bowser sighed as he turned to Birdo, taking away his glance of himself as he sounded annoyed. "Oh Korttork. How come I'm not allowed to have some fun with fanfiction gimmicks, huh?"

"I don't think the audience sees you as the type of guy to have, well... fun." Toadette pointed out as she was drinking some water to combat the intense heat.

"...Toadette pretty much described it in a way I couldn't." Birdo added as she shrugged, shaking her head.

Dry Bowser felt a twitch in his right eye, feeling insulted. "Oh really? Well, I'll show them!" he then snapped his fingers, his Offroader vehicle pulling up as he body slammed into it, his bones breaking apart.

"Oh boy..." Birdo and Toadette stated in unison as they gave each other worried looks, with Dry Bowser reanimating himself as he drove off, feeling like he needed to prove a point.


	2. Chapter 2

Bone Dry Dunes was experiencing a dust storm as Dry Bowser was offering the various non boney tourists some shelter inside several tents embedded into the rocky formations around the dusty race course, with several Bone Piranha Plants popping up out of the ground as they enjoyed the dust blowing into them.

"Man, this place is so full of sand!" Toadbert stated as he was on one of the wooden ships floating in the quicksand surrounding the canyon. "Is there any reason why this place is so hot?"

"It's a dusty area." Dry Bowser remarked as he glanced at Toadbert from across the sandy race track. "Why are you surprised about this?"

"Because this place isn't exactly a desert like the other desert tracks..." Toadbert remarked, being blown into the sky by the sandstorm nearby.

Dry Bowser rolled his eyes as he kept helping the fleshy tourists hide as a way to prevent them from being blown up into the sand tornado, not bothering to go and try to rescue Toadbert.


	3. Chapter 3

"Hurry with that darn construction!" Morton Koopa Jr. barked at the various Koopas working on the new camp site for the campers, with it being dusk as the dust was picking up from the gusts.

Dry Bowser pulled by in a yellow construction vehicle, with Morton glaring up at the skeletal reptile.

"Hey! What do ya think ya doin'!?" Morton shouted as he raised his arms in the air.

"What do you think, Big Mouth? I'm trying to start up some competition!" Dry Bowser barked back while rolling his right skeletal hand around.

"Competition!? You don't even have your own construction crew!' Morton remarked as he flailed his arms about.

Suddenly, several boney enemies popped up, all of them wearing yellow colored construction caps as Dry Bowser turned to Morton, smirking.

"You were saying?" Dry Bowser remarked as he rolled the construction car past Morton, the hordes of boney enemies flattening the fat Koopaling in the process.

"Great Scott..." Toadbert stated as he noticed this construction war of sort going on while studying the wall paintings of the canyon, not believing what he was seeing.


	4. Chapter 4

Dry Bowser whistled as he was watering his corn flakes as Petey Piranha came swooping down, the two being on the cliff that lead to the giant skull of Dry Bowser overlooking the race course.

"DB... any reason why you're putting water in your cereal?" Petey asked as the mutated piranha plant was confused.

Dry Bowser turned to Petey, moving his boney right hand around. "Don't question it, Petey. You'll... just hurt yourself." He then decided to walk the bowl of corn flakes he had with him, whistling as Petey watched in disbelief, dropping his jaw as all sorts of different items from various other series popped out of his enormous mouth.

"...I need to get new eye implants." Petey stated as he tried to fix his jaw, but didn't have much luck.

* * *

"Are you sad that this is getting barely any attention?" A Dry Bones asked a Bone Piranha Plant.

The Bone Piranha Plant simply stared at the Dry Bones. "Nah. I don't care."

* * *

"Less is more!" Exclaimed a Bone Goomba as he was running away from an incoming sand storm.

"That is one huge tower of dust." A yellow robed Shy Guy remarked as he and the others were buried in dust.

* * *

"Great Scott, this is heavy!" Toadbert exclaimed as he was carrying an empty yellow vase with pictures of Dry Bowser on it. "If only I had a backpack..."

"Ha! You wish, loser!" Captain Toad taunted as he was trying to get the treasure chest overlooking him on the edge, desperately jumping as he panted. "Pew! I'm tired... and I stink."


	5. Chapter 5

Dry Bowser followed the annoying Chargin' Chuck into the dusty old Bone Dry Dunes, with a race having concluded as the Chargin' Chuck rammed through all the racers, Dry Bowser grabbing various empty vases and chucking it at the Chargin' Chuck, with the vases breaking apart easily.

"Hey! Those are priceless artifacts!" Exclaimed an annoyed Toadbert as he was trying to study up on the ancient lore of the canyon racetrack.

"Like I care! I have a situation!" Dry Bowser dryly snapped back as he kept chucking several of his bones at the Chargin' Chuck, with them not doing much damage in the long run.

"...and that's why I don't bother annoying Koopa Football Players, young ones." Toadsworth explained to the school of young Mario enemies, who were all in awe of Toadsworth's worthy words of wisdom.


End file.
